Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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