absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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