your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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