i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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