Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize