She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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