Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we made out on top of his cat.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
