hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
