You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
