If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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