Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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