marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
