Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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