That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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