I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
