Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
