went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
