you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
