I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
