I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
