im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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