What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
