How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
