Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
