can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
