The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
