Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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