I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
