There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
