why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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