Screwed.edu
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
