I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
