so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
