Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize