I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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