I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
