Kiss
Puke
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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