im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize