AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
