? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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