i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
it was like eating out sand paper
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize