Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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