i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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