I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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