why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize