I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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