Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize