Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
