I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
