Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
