So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
