Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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