They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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