You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
