Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it's like heaven, but drunker
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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