i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm passing your future prison.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize