Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
