Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize