I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
