I wanna bring you to show and tell
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
