He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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