While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
