Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
