I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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