We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize