So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize