I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
