belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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